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: 06.02.2008
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: 13, 2017 8:06 am     : AN OPENED BOOK OF A CHILDHOOD. BEGINNING. Maria Karpinskaya.


Author: Maria Karpinskaya.
Translation: Maya Nikolaeva.


All this history began long before my life. It began so long time ago that to describe it is difficult and easy at the same time.

Millions of zones, distances and myriads of ideas (there are more of these ideas than stars on the sky) connect this my modest and simple life in a human form with the name Maria, where threads are stretching up to that first life when I always existed, without being born on Earth.

As many stars on the sky, so many different names, my immortal and eternal soul dissolved in all forms of life and in no-life. And to separate myself from all what there is, and what there was, and will be, to become the one sole form, here, in this physical body, my father and friend helped me.

Once I realised that I need some new ideas and feelings, once I wanted to separate myself from my eternal and sole spouse and to depart for a long trip and adventure in microcosm named planet Earth, to this entirely small section which people name a person's physical body, in a women's form.

This travel did not finish in one life. I fell in such jungles of space and time, and underwent so many different changes and transformations that to leave from this story by myself no longer was possible.

And seven thousands years ago, what almost means yesterday for a soul, I began to prepare my ascent home, to the limits of my great and incognizable, finest world.

And this ascension I have to commit with those who was met on my way in all billions of years that separated me from my spouse and my relations. They also had to descent to this world, to forget themselves, one's true nature, in order to remember again and to appear before Mother Nature herself in a new type; with brilliants of knowledges and discoveries assembled by particles, splashed over the universe and dropped themselves and their dignity on the planet named Earth.

At the time of this transformation an unbelievable distortions and dividing of vessels with knowledges took place. The knowledges spread and scattered over whole World's ocean, and all the events and development of energy of this creation itself became unpredictable.

We went through many embodiments, lot of pain and sufferings, which drunk our souls, and here it is - a desirable last painful embodiment. It'll give the answers and untie all knots, will release us from bonds and open the consciousness and subconsciousness. At last consciousness and subconsciousness will be united and will become one whole, and again harmony will be restored. The way to harmony is not simple, and the childhood is not sugary, so much of bitterness, a lot of overcoming, connected with a twisted and incorrect understanding, which produced an ignorance and vices on Earth.

And it is necessary to manage them, they should be conquerred and transformed in a pure energy of thought. I am a centre of universe. And all that takes place in me straight away is reflected by billions of prototypes and situations in the universe, and all the people receive an operational experience needed for vital experiment.

The open book - is really a good idea, one for everybody, big and deep as celestial river, which fell suddenly to Earth and gave a freshness of perception of life to people and updated life itself. And it was a great last SACRIFICE. Sacrifice of the last life is same great and unbelievable as of the very first one. The only difference is that when you sacrifice yourself for the first time you don't know many things, you wrong to a large extent, and of course you look on the world and on it's inhabitants as on yourself. You and the world are still the same until you begin to doubt. And exactly this doubt gives birth to knowledge and pain, and fear.

And the book which includes my experience is available, it lies and waits for those who able to analyse, who able to search, to find, to understand and to apply. The book is about me and you. Circles disperse from centre and reach to very edge. Think, analyse and search for your way together with common movements of waves and vibrations of my soul and of an uninterrupted idea. It flows from the world of imagination to more compact, material worlds.


Many days and nights I thought is it necessary to write a book, and to create a big case and millions of events, which can become unpredictable, or should I leave as a secret that what happened with me? Should I never tell anyone of that world of imagination with which presented me my father? Does it worth to come back to that what I dreamed of in my life? That is done, why to display it? What for to explain?

For me personally that is boring to tell of what has already happened. All been lived and beloved by me for thousand times, and all my reminiscences and verses reminding yellow leaves, which fell from tree of hope - they float past, and I am not pity. Indeed now they are not mine. The yellow autumn leaves, when fruits have been already assembled. A yellow leaf dropping from a tree, what it is rich with?

Why should I tug the past? I was accustomed to live by instant, and ahead of me there still new surprising moments of love are awaiting. A passionate intention to open them does not give me the time to stop and show a beauty of expectation. My life became as one big expectation, which is action. What is for me the past?

But some thought in most distant nook of the soul says me: "Maria, that with what presented to you your father, that what you lived in your dreams and in reality will be interesting and necessary to people. Now, when a melancholy reigns in the world, and the people lose meaning of their life, when decomposition of all human hopes and void stand on threshold of each life, revelations are necessary and people need a pulse of naked sincere and living heart. You will be criminal if you hide it. Don't you love people at all?!"

And I think to myself: "So many books issued today, people write both prose and verses, and "new doctrines" for any choice and taste. And already, not even each second person, but each first one writes, and each last one considers himself as a centre of universe. And there is in the world such a big flow and chaos from all these knowledges, and an ignorance was created - so I begin to understand that people don't need knowledges from primary source, they are not ready to hear a relic frequency of the world. And if I, as Danko, put my living trembling heart and will say of most secret, of what people dream to learn, or rather - to feel, my book all the same will be lost in a common flow of doctrines and literatures".

Look, how many books are manufactured in the world. It is impossible to read them even by all together. If separate all the literature between the people and to give a task to read - the people still would not be able. You saw that abundance, the excess of ideas and words! And the question arises: "Why so many?"

I myself got disgusted from reading books besides favourite ones. From the early childhood I read many different books - all our village library. After there a new literature flow was opened, and that were spiritual knowledges. At first there was a hunger, and I read everything, one after another, but soon my hunger was satisfied, and an after-taste remained.

I realised that if I was to depart to a desert island forever and was offered to take with me only a few favourite authors - then, without thinking, I would take works of . Bulgakov, Gete, Antuan de Sent-E'kzyuperi, Richard Bakh, Alexander Green, and a doctrine of Sri Aurobindo "Integral Yoga", a doctrine "Agni Yoga" and some Indian historical and vedic knowledges. But there are written a great number of books, perfect and awful, surprising and entirely ordinal.

A lot of different books were read by me, but entirely little remained in the heart. Books are indeed as friends - until you young - all world is with you. You like everyone equally, but as years go by you begin to distinguish who was your friend and who simply touched your life and thawed in a years fog. Same with a book, never mind how wise and interesting it seemed today - it's erased tomorrow from the memory.

But why not all books are erased? Why more you live on Earth some are becoming more dear and brighter?

Once the father said me: "Maria, all will leave in due course, besides of great and high feelings of a person-daydreamer. And these dreams are settling in people's hearts and never die, and such people themselves become immortal".

Here now, in this instant, I added the father's phrase and made a decision: I will write my book! I want to present to people and to all living substances and spirits Father's doctrine, I want to tell of my pure and high dreams and to show how they were embodied in life. If something of what I dreamed did not happen with me, it will definitely happen with someone else.

So I begin my book of life, I will open for you my heart. I decided to admit you to the most secret nooks of my soul, my reader, pupil, friend, and consequently that is not an art book, not a novel, not a tale. That is an extravaganza of an inner world of dream, of a secret world and of external life events. This book is a living confession of my soul before you, my dear pupils, friends, like-minded persons, because I like you very much! And love pushes me to open before you.

I want very much, and I dreamed about it many years - I want that everyone on this Earth would find his happiness, open his River of Life. And I want that nobody and never more on Earth imposed a personal understanding of happiness and tried to make sing all in chorus, equally happy by his own sample, as it was done by some revolutionaries and dictators in all the times and centuries. But I feel that in a meanwhile it is impossible, and as a result it is necessary to apply extreme measures to people.

But I dreamed that having become free and whole people will learn to interact and to co-operate with one another, not dominating, not prevailing, and not humiliating each other, on basis of divine laws.

I want that nobody would impose to other the own ideas of happiness, and grown-ups would cease to be brake on the way of development and evolution of children.

Let each daddy feel as a hero of fairy tale Buratino" real daddy Karlo. He should see Buratino, possessing a gold key of happiness, in his own child. And let each mum help to find that door behind home hearth, with aid of which family will learn a happy life - each family on Earth. And of course I want myself to open own happiness and to find here my family which once, long ago in millennia I lost.

Golden key of Buratino will replace all doctrines and open all knowledges. It is only necessary to understand and realize what kind of gold key is that, how person lives and finds a golden heart?

Before to write for you about this golden heart, given to me from above even before any of my birthes, I thought for many years: whether it is possible to find anything common for all people of the planet, so that they would be able to acquire golden heart? Where this gold key is stored by people, the key which will make people happy, kind and magnanimous?

And I found this magic key to the general gladness and prosperity! I also found that magic door, opening which all people will forget of evil forever. It is hard to believe - but the door to the gold heart of each person exists! This door is such wonderful and for each person his own. But for people it's hard to open it as years go by. The more you live in this world and the more you engaged in different important businesses: devote your life to great doctrines or serve politics, business and art - the more difficult to make it, and the gold key gets lost and drops to a deepest bottom of your soul, in a cleft. And nevertheless, let's try to get your heart, and I shall help you.

So... To find the gold key firstly: it is necessary to remember your childhood and... that feeling, when you, being a child, for the first time grew fond of a boy or a girl just like that, for nothing, and when you learned and opened a door to dream.

If you remember your first love you would be able to return to yourself a great knowledge that was incorporated in each of you from the birth and a great gift from your Lord who lives in the heart of each living essence. You remembered?!

But remember, after, with years, you was losing your gift, and your dream disappeared. You liked your beloved not because they are just existed, but for something. Remember: who - for what? Women - for treasure, for trade, for mind, for good nature, or for dream, which they connected to a man. They liked not a person, but a dream cherished in him.

Often after an unsuccessful love you, woman, liked your hopes linked with a person, and ultimately nothing came true, and love was replaced by a grey way of life and sufferings. And that is a norm of life for everyone. Indeed - even the songs were saying to you the same:

- Mum, I like a pilot,

Mum, I will go for a pilot!

Pilot flys high,

Receives a lot of money.

That's why I like him.

From the early childhood society taught to like only for something or to like something, instead of someone!

And men, they indeed also lost love to woman. And were choosing for a mistress not the same as for a wife. Why? Because for marriage love is not compulsory. They were choosing not love for themselves, but by judiciousness, by high qualities of house mistress, and someones particularly recently - by ability of women to saddle all material cares on themselves and to pull and pull as a dray horse. Did emerge marriages with women for the sake of most convenient use of lasts. And men regenerated into egoists and woman - into some substances which became a free supplement to TV and sofa. And women lost tenderness and became rough, mannish, and as result - children resembling downs.

Nature does not bear violence. Degradation in family, alienation and evil prosper quick, and country's misfortunes begin exactly from such families.

Only love to human, as to a close one, in whose heart lives God of Gods, God who should be worshiped, instead of attachment to all that liked by you; only love as a goodwill not to man or woman, as a source of pleasure and lust, but love of human to human, fidelity of friend to friend, love of spouse to spouse, with realised decision of birth of one more person who will live not for the sake of himself, but for the benefit of all mankind and Nature - only such connection and such thinking - will return you a true way of happiness!

And nobody can do it for you. There are no teachers and those who could indicate to you a direct way - teacher, a true teacher lives in your heart. Heart of any person, if it is not spoilt, wants only one - to give its love to a close person. But at first - to find love in oneself.

Do you remember how we loved in our childhood. Even if love was unrequired and the object did not suspect of our feelings - R E M E M B E R!!! How much power and energy gave you dreams of a lover. You didn't plan then of necessity to marry or anything in this sort. The only reminiscence about the image of beloved opened for you a pure source of mighty force, and this light created perfect gusts to live not in the name of yourself, but in the name of the world and love, which is the same.

In then... watever you did - ate, walked, slept - it happened differently, because you was doing it not alone, but with her or him! And if it was so, the life was becoming an infinite flow of gladness, and you comprehended an essence of life in integral moment.

Your life was illuminated by light of peace and love, and higher than this love and the open world of two for the whole space and mankind there is NOTHING on Earth!!!

Once I thought above Jesus's words: If two or three will gather in the name of mine, I shall be among them. Why all process of indication of God begins from two and more?

He and she, two souls, two poles, two bright tales, two contrasts. These two create a current of God's energy and give birth to love. There is third, fourth, fifth are born in love - child, children! They connect the couple, and in the sky emerges a new star!

- Who is this magic star?

It's me and you!

Who is this spring water?

It's me and you!

- We are taking off to the Sky.

There would be no world without love!

And between Me and You reigns Love. It is a Teacher, Friend and God. Love is the most essential without what you as people are not capable to live on Earth. This love is higher than motherhood, higher than most great creativity.

My father helped me to realise this truth in my youth. Ones he spoke to me about love and friendship and said: "Masha, love between man and woman fastened by understanding, frankness and friendship is the top form of creativity. Such love through the world of dream changes the Universe's laws, gives an energy higher than energy of all heavenly bodies. The love of two divided on all subordinates stars to itself and changes their movement".

And now let's look what love was transformed into?! Don't you deceive yourselves? Do you really live with the loved ones? Where that only one in whose name all the feats are getting done? Did you not prefer her either him to something other, living together whole life with a man or a woman unfamiliar to your soul whom you never know, and did you try to know?

Love - an unbearable shock, revision of sights each day, a death and a birth each instant - this is a breath of the Universe. Don't you choose, instead of love, some stability, comfort, convenience? Don't you afraid of this love more when of anything in the world?

I myself remember some cases in my life when God sent me an explosion of love, and it's volcano did overtake me. My reason was frightened by uncertainty, love seemed to it as a chasm, and I tried to run away from it. But love was catching me. And made to face the question: "Why do we live on Earth?".

And the answer to this question gave me a knowledge of myself and separated another information imposed to me by people. Separated the egoistical aspirations from my hearted divine actions and intentions. Love is given for comprehension of oneself and own qualities, and exactly love opens in you Virtues or vices. And then there is something to work on, something where to develop.

Of course it is difficult now to compare my experiences with experiences of common people, as they long ago lost their true Nature, and for them now it's rather difficult to understand me. But I am a top to which all people of Earth always will aspire. It is the way.

And I understand that you, people, rejected true love, rejected a self-knowledge and development, and replaced it by most different pleasures and substitutions, to which are related drunkenness and drugs, and religions, and most different types of self-deceptions. And religions are also the refined types of self-deception and magic, but not love.

If inside of yourself you'll choose love at any age, even if you are over 90, because age does not exist for a self-knowledge, I assure you - you will live in a surprising world of dream and will be happy.

I would very much like that the people of all Earth meet their only ones, or open them in their wifes and husbands and join with them in a goodwill, and love ONE ANOTHER, so that on Earth would begin a process of self-knowledge and an age of realization.

My wish to you sounds in the universe: let all the searching people find EACH OTHER!

And then a time of miracles would come, and I shall meet my beloved Friend on Earth! That would be exactly this Friend himself, a sole spouse, whose heart was broken into small peaces, as a big ancient mirror, and these pieces got scattered over all Earth and the Universe, and I see in each person only his fragments. And I dream to collect these fragments into a single whole. And for it is necessary that the searching people would find EACH OTHER.

There are not so many people on Earth who searches and ready to find EACH OTHER. But every day there would become increasingly more of them. When my dream becomes true and such thing will happen with all the people, the world would be perfect and evil, as a parasitic phenomenon, will disappear forever from life of people.

So, my Book of Destinies is a Book of Life, and all my books are of LOVE and they are LOVE THEMSELVES. They are about how once long ago I lost my Love, how was born on Earth in many forms, and many years looked for Love and found only its fragments. But now I have a strong believe, that I for surewould meat with my only one, and he'd definitely gather in the Sinle Whole. And well-being of the whole world depends from it.

When it will happen? Possibly very soon. Maybe His Spirit is already gathering and goes beside me, and I not yet recognized him? Or maybe He lives on another end of Earth and we still bound to meet. I simply wait, act and do that what would help Him.

This expectation of love makes me happy and elusive for all earthly difficulties and problems. These problems are just scanty compared to the Energy of Expectation.

If only Expectation makes human so strong and happy - what will happen when love comes?!

All that I do in my life today looks as sensations that I wait for arrival of a most valued guest, God of Gods in a human form in my house. Imagine that! What kind of mood you will have? What would you do?

An Infinite Gladness and excitement from forthcoming meeting will settle in you! You would try to clean your house, to prepare all the tastiest, to put on most beautiful clothes, you'd always be in excitement, always in hurry. And each guest coming to the house - a herald from my beloved Friend, to whom I be always aspired, stretch, and I would be reaching him eternally. So I live each day in my own soul, and that is HAPPINESS, and that is CELEBRATION!

And there is not necessary to hurry, not you who should work for time, but let time work for you. Where to hurry? All life consists of EXPECTATIONS, MEETINGS, PARTINGS and LOVE.

The purpose of this Living Book of Destinies - to present you, HUMAN, with moments of gladness and mourn to open before you a world of TRUE imagination, to tell of my childhood so sincerely and openly that through my ideas and experiences you would be able to see and remember your childhood, and go again through its best and worst moments, and to reconstitute your best image, given to you from above by God, that Image which was stolen from you and your kind by priests. But their time ended.

For you was granted a unique chance to be born over again, without dying in physical body, to remove all the worst from your new life, and to return to yourself your power of imagination given to you by God.

But, in fact, living through all the worst here you'll understand that there wasn't anything bad. But was a surprising state of your childhood and youth. Open it together with me!

- A girl cries - a ball did fly out.

She is consoled - and the ball flys.

The girl cries - there is still no groom.

She is consoled - and the ball flys!

A woman cries - the husband went out to other.

She is consoled - and the ball flys!

An old woman cries - she lived too little...

And the ball returned! And it is blue!

So, together with me, return to yourself this protogenic blue ball, this young Earth, which was created by Creator, and not by those who unrecognizability deformed this country of childhood! Return the dreams to yourself!


So, we together equip a ship and depart to a travel. What sails will be on our ship?

Of course, You guessed! You already see it together with me! The scarlet sails! You hear, only scarlet! Bord the ship, be bold, let's go. It stands at the coast, and there is a small bridge - do you hear as your legs stepped to the small bridge of our ship? I am a captain. That is indeed possible

- a Woman CAPTAIN! I am glad to meet with each of You. I see Your faces. You are excited!

Look, somebody began to cry! Hark, do not hinder! CRY, dear woman! That is YOUR SOURCE comes back to you. You by herself will open your SOURCES and will see all the BEAUTY of your SOUL. You was always ready to a feat, you was ready to run after your beloved to another part of the world, and you ran, ran... But so it happened what that another edge of earth did not exist, and the beloved disappeared without leaving a trace.

CRY, dear, don't be shy, - your race is completed, You will certainly meet HIM! He will see your scarlet sails!

I go on the deck and see your face, WOMAN. Wrinkles of insults and humiliations furrowed it. You grew old before time. Your eyes filled by tears of pain from human indifference, by coldness of their hearts and callousness of the close ones. But there is a light of HOPE glimmers in your heart.

CRY, woman! You fought for justice, you searched for TRUTH on Earth and did not find it. You wanted to bring meanness into the open - to a PURE WATER, but there was no PURE WATER! Come on the ship.

Your travel will return to you PURE WATER.

You will open it in yourself.


Your tears are sacred.

Look - here is a beautiful young woman, she goans, fell to the floor and shouts from pain. Help her.

Rest, dear beauty. Leave your pain. You are a holder of LOVE. You was always humiliated as a last one, and after they were turning out from you. Those, whom you liked with all your substance were wiping their feet of you. You gave them LOVE without asking anything in return, and you was revenged.

Listen, about 500 years before, that is You who burnt on fires of inquisition and was announced as a WITCH. But you just couldn't do otherwise. You are only one like that, and you more dear to me than millions of other women.

Your TENDERNESS overflowed You, and You wanted to give it to the world. But men wanted from you an entirely different thing, they hunted you and after they killed you, but You revived each time as a Phoenix bird from ashes. You was giving love and wholly received for that.

DO NOT CRY anymore, woman, you are a true MADONNA. You hear, You are a BELOVED of DIVINE!

- There is love - but for the chosen ones!

There are limits - but for many!

So many for Truth are expelled,

So many from Truth are poor!

My darling, you will definitely meet your Prince and surely will forgive to all who tormented you! It is true!!!

My friends, do you see an old woman - she hides her tears. She never showed her pain and always silently bore all ruthlessness of her children and gave them the last. She was saving on herself and gave to them. And if she cried - always furtively that children wouldn't see her tears. And if somebody would find her unaware - began to fuss and said that a speck of dust got into her eye.

SHE IS SO SENSITIVE, each rough word cuts her as a knife. But she learned to smile when the heart pours with blood, and to give up herself, to give up to the children, to the world. She could be given only one diagnosis - KINDNESS, because she never thought of herself, and she didn't have time to acquire some other illnesses which take place from egoism.

Youngster, you are so perfect - come near her. Embrace her. She is light as a fuzz, YOUR GRANDMOTHER. Feel a kindness of her heart. Do kiss her hands, you have understood everything! Her soul lives in her hands!

Thank you, young man - there is a perfect sea cadit has already turned out from you. When you'll be matur, you will become a captain, and on your ship there would be SUCH scarlet sails that your beloved will see them on other end of the universe. You'll not know losses and your beloved wouldn't know that grief what knew all those who entered today the deck of the ship with scarlet sails.

My friends, let pass this MAN WITH A GRAY HAIR! That okey what in his hands is a bottle of vodka. It is nothing that he had a drop too much. Look, he as a child wipes the tears with his fist.

Let me embrace you, FATHER! You gave up all yourself to a service of the country, but it remained indifferent to you. Everybody forgot you. Let's us drink with you on our ship. Vodka will soothe your grief. I see your pain. WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU?!

Let me kiss your gray hair, give me to touch your holy hands. They didn't know rest neither by day, nor at night. Your heart was burning, and you extinguished its fire by vodka. And you was right - fire puts out by fire!

Your fire is sacred, because for you the country was above all. You yourself is a country of nobility and courage. It is You always the first went to a battle and was killed, closing the country by yourself! That's you, been in the camps and even there did not lose your honour.

YOU ARE A KNIGHT OF OWN PEOPLE! Look, my passengers understood that, and the WOMEN - they kneeled before you.

You are a nice person, you wouldn't need vodka anymore. Because we remembered of you. And INDEED - the COUNTRY is US! Now you will live in A STATE OF WOMEN'S EYES. DO YOU LIKE SUCH STATE?!

It seems like EVERYONE entered the ship. No, Somebody else goes... WHO ARE YOU, my last passenger?

You are so perfect! Your cheeks are reddening, and there are two brilliants on them - two tears. Are you crying? I see everything. Those are the tears of sacred pride for WOMAN YOUR MOTHER, YOUR WIFE, FRIEND, DAUGHTER, BELOVED, SISTER.

You are learning her through these tears - YOUR ONLY WOMAN. Through her you will open the world of LOVE and you will be surprised by incommensurability of LOVE and human's authority.

You saw a delirium of this world. BY YOUR LOVE YOU WILL SEE PEOPLE'S SOULS THROUGH THEIR FACES! CRY! Those are the tears of surprise and inspiration, THE TEARS OF YOUR FUTURE IMMORTALITY!

Well, here we all gathered on one ship. Look - wind! Some fair wind blows for us! Come on!

See source:

Author: Maria Karpinskaya.
Translation: Maya Nikolaeva.

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